Focusing the sky

     We went to Sisters, Ore., over the fourth. I didn’t book early enough to get a spot at one of the 'cool' resorts so we stayed at The Ponderosa Best Western, which had llamas to pet and a fragrant pine forest around its perimeter. The room was restful, furnished with rustic pine furniture and comfy beds. In the morning, the maids decluttered our space.
     It was sunny and warm, but not too hot. The nights (unlike in Portland this past week) were devoid of fireworks, which I considered a plus. We strolled the town and looked at quilts, swam, hiked and filled our lungs with the smell of pine. All in all, it was a peaceful get-away. We came back to Portland Saturday night, which gave me time to become untethered.
     There’s such a thing as too much time to ponder.
     There is such a thing as wanting to control that which we cannot control.

     On Sunday, I needed to conquer our bedroom. I wanted it clean. Not just clean, but deeply clean, a spring-clean kind of clean from the depths of the closets to the back of the drawers. I wanted a calm space like the hotel room with nothing extra, no books or mementos gathering dust, a healing space for my return from the hospital after surgery. 

   The problem was I couldn’t move. Through monosyllables, I tried to explain to Ron that I needed his help. He seemed puzzled at first but quickly dove in to help. He led with the big picture cleaning, which took him an hour, while I concentrated on organizing details. The task gave me a day’s worth of focus, made me happy and inspired one daughter to do the same with our kitchen.

     Today I feel better. Rested. More prepared somehow. 
     And right now, I’m pondering what to do with my next 10 to 12 hours. Because perhaps this is energy I shouldn't waste.