Pleasure or poison?

       A friend saw this sign at a café in West Linn and sent it to me.

       This is me. Throughout my adulthood, I’ve had one vice, one constant addiction: coffee. Coffee is the first thing I think of when I awake in the morning.  If I have something to be anxious about, coffee magnifies my anxiety. If I have work requiring intense focus, coffee diverts my focus. With every cup I drink, I feel its effects deep in my gut. Coffee makes me irritable, less patient and numbs my true feelings. And still I’ve imbibed.

       Coffee gets me through Portland’s gray days. When I visit southern California, I don’t need caffeine. Coffee is my true crutch.

       Since my Hero’s Journey began, I’ve stayed away from coffee because my body hasn’t wanted it. No one’s told me to stop. The medical people don’t advise one way or another. My surgeon even told me we’d be laughing over a cup of coffee a year from now. (I’m holding her to that one.)

       To be forthright, I’ve had a few swallows of coffee on a couple days since chemo started and a full cup one day. I’m hoping I don’t go back to addiction mode because I believe infusing my body with coffee is not a good thing. Some folks say bitter foods like coffee are nature’s way of protecting you from what’s not good for you. Others swear it's an antioxidant.

       I could do some research, but right now I’m avoiding internet content. 

       I’m seeking other drinks I’d like better. So far, water’s winning, but I’m open to ideas.